French Kissing Life

Ep 9: Why Smiling Can Change Your Life with Kylie Rae

• Shawnna Stiver • Episode 9

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Ever met someone so warm that they're like sunshine in human form? Well Kylie Rae joins us today and her warmth is literally palpable—her story is a testament to the transformative power of a heartfelt smile in the service industry. She joins us to peel back the layers of her career. Kylie's insights are a treasure trove for anyone looking to infuse their leadership with infectious joy and a steadfast commitment to creating memorable experiences.

Kylie is passionate about service excellence and has a background in luxury hospitality. Originally from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, Kylie learned the values of family, community, and kindness through Southern hospitality. With nearly two decades of experience in the hospitality industry, Kylie has developed a training program called "Service with a Smile" focused on infusing positivity and kindness into customer service. She believes in the power of positivity to drive productivity and profitability in business.

Topics covered:

  • Impact of changing demographics on companies.
  • Importance of cultivating a positive corporate culture that fosters employee engagement, retention, and productivity.
  • Significance of providing memorable and personalized experiences as a company.
  • Impact of employees' mental health and workplace wellness.
  • Significance of service with a smile, creating positive experiences for customers.
  • Leadership roles in addressing customer complaints.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to French Kissing Life. I'm your host, shauna Stiver, and I am thrilled to help you discover what makes your heart race, your soul dance and your spirit sore. Every week you'll get a fun dose of inspiration, laughter and a sprinkle of magic as we explore stories, insights and conversations that empower you to ignite the spark within, in a world that demands you be anything but yourself. This is your permission slip to be a little more you. Together, let's shed the shoulds, embrace our unique brilliance and welcome more joy. Are you ready to French Kiss Life? Welcome back to another episode of French Kissing Life. I am your long-winded host, shauna Stiver. Before I jump into the introduction for today's guest, I have to get something off my chest, you guys. It has been impossible for me to keep my episodes to 40 minutes and I'm really sorry about it. I'm working on this. I promise I just get going with my guests. We start playing games, I'm doing rapid-fire questions, our pets' heads are falling off. Then I look at the clock and I'm way over. Just know that, as with everything, this is a learning curve for me and I don't take your time for granted. So thank you for hanging in there with me. I promise this is going to get better.

Speaker 1:

Today's guest is Sunshine in human form, and I'm not kidding. Her nickname and brand is Kylie Ray of Sunshine. Kylie Ray was born and raised in Lancaster, pennsylvania, where she learned the values of family, community and kindness through old-fashioned Southern hospitality. She is a passionate service professional who proudly spends her days smiling, creatively, solving problems and teaching others how to do the same. If there was ever a girl after my own heart, kylie is it. We talk about her background, working for luxury hospitality brands and how that shaped her service with a smile training program, whether or not she's seeing a shift in companies caring about kindness spoiler, the news is good and how each of us can infuse more positivity into our days, no matter what culture we currently work within.

Speaker 1:

I also play a game with Kylie where I quiz her on some common scenarios in the service industry and ask her how she would approach things differently. I'm so excited for you to hear someone speaking my language and actually changing work environments for the better. Please enjoy my episode with Miss Sunny Kylie Ray. Hi, kylie, thank you so much for being here today. Good morning, shauna. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited for this conversation because you deal with something that is very near and dear to my heart as well, which is good customer service. Absolutely Tell me how you got into this and what your story is as it relates to customer service, and what you do now as your role.

Speaker 2:

My history comes from being a daughter and growing up in Southern Lancaster County, pennsylvania. I introduce it as learning the values of family, faith, freedom and being able to learn and grow up in Southern hospitality. Even though I'm from the Northeast, the Southern end of Lancaster comes with a certain set of morals and values and part of that has formed me to who I am Growing up. Looking at, what university do you want to go to and make that life transition? After high school I didn't feel called to go to a four-year school. I was traveling in my early teenage years. My father took me to a luxury hotel for one of my birthdays and that was the beginning point.

Speaker 2:

Looking back on where all of this customer service experiences came about. I had the opportunity to be a guest as a birthday celebration at a luxury hotel and that introduced me to. The very first impression of that hotel was someone smiling at me. I walked away from that interaction and said Daddy, I want to get paid a million dollars to smile at someone like this. Oh my God.

Speaker 2:

After high school I did choose to go to pastry school. I thought I would go through the food and beverage route, have a cute little Kylie cafe and serve smiles and cups of coffee and little treats. I turned into front of house operations from luxury hotel background, has been my career for nearly two decades and that's led me down the path of understanding hotels and businesses are more than the functional formation of a business in a building, that there's more purpose than just the transactional experiences attached to it. Being able to create that service-driven experience just sparked a light within me and it connected the dots of people taking care of people, which is my philosophy of Southern hospitality. Throughout my career I grew through luxury hotels and found the value of an expert experience of customer service and not just settling for the transactional details back and forth.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that so much. Do you think, as that little girl who is so enamored with this experience, do you think, that you had a sense even then, of the difference between going to that particular hotel and just any hotel?

Speaker 2:

I didn't have a whole lot of hotel experiences at that age but from experiences in general, from growing up in small town Lancaster County, Pennsylvania is the family-owned restaurants and owners that pour their heart into the experience, into what they're passionately providing and not just a transactional interaction. I think that that exposure definitely shaped a lot of my perspective. Being able to be on the receiving end of it, from the level of quality and intentionality of the experience overall from that luxury hotel, was definitely transformational. Then you have that as a high point to compare it to.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely. Have you heard of how, when you go to Disney World, they've thought of all the details, down to even the trash cans are the same as whatever world you're in, the trash cans match that particular world. It's all about the experience that they're giving you. They've literally thought of every single detail.

Speaker 2:

I believe it. I encourage you to look at things that way when you're going through even the simplest shoe shopping experience. What are the details of the experience, the touchpoints of the journey? Throughout customer service, I've found an interest in connecting positive psychology and quality experiences to the overall service delivery and realizing that there's a people connection. Those touchpoints you're talking about can easily be overlooked, but you notice it. You're surrounding. If you have a clean office space, there's psychology attached to it to have a clearer space for mind and creativity. You're intentionally setting up your space to be in a clear, inspirational environment where you can thrive, to show up as your best self on the screen here, for delivering excellence in French kissing life. Same thing from a hotel experience, a restaurant experience, a bank transaction is still transactional but can be elevated if the details are intentionally delightful.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh. This is so interesting to me because my very first job was a restaurant. I worked with a husband and wife team. I remember the wife being particularly hard to work for, but at the same time she had a way that she wanted her restaurant run. I respected that. I learned from her very early on what it means to have a good work ethic. In that I should take pride. Also, my parents instilled this in me as well, but that I should take pride in the job that I'm doing and the service that I'm providing. It's honestly never lost me. It's a piece of the culture.

Speaker 2:

So it sounds like that couple that owned it had different styles of leadership but instilled the same focus on quality and the culture of it is so important because, if it's me, as the owner, leader against the rest of the world, because I'm keeping my vision of this business that I've worked so hard my whole life to provide and can't delegate and distribute for you to shine in your role, it's a mutual effort to create these experiences because together we're better to be able to provide even more reach for these experiences. And when you, when you buy into the vision of the owners and treat it like it's your own, that's priceless for everyone involved in the experience.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean it helped that the husband was like my grandpa. I mean he was so great, he was so funny. He, he was definitely not the the disciplinary of the two and, to piggyback on what you're saying, like people treated him differently than he, they treated, you know, the wife in that particular example. So it's just really interesting to think about, like how the service that you even provide your employees then affects what they do, you know, for your business.

Speaker 2:

It's powerful. I believe that, as one of the core frameworks of service with a smile, programming is service with a smile isn't found everywhere, but it can be influenced by starting with you. So the whole concept of the individual engagement is a core piece of the foundation that leads to the team engagement collectively. When you're your best self, those around you will also be inspired to be their best self. Work together as high performers, create happy culture and high performing culture, which leads to guest experiences being elevated, even if the guest doesn't have crazy high expectations. The elevation of what you can create together because you're showing up as your best self and your team is collectively on that same mission, aligned with the owners and the managers to build it out.

Speaker 2:

It's just so beautiful and, to your point, is even just with that couple of ownership. Those two individuals have two completely different complexities of personalities, which is true for any of us humans. We don't have the same fingerprint, probably not the same footprint either, and the same perspective from all of our life experiences and our emotional state of what we need in that particular experience. So it is a lot of different pressures, in a way, and opportunities, if you choose to choose that, to see it as getting to know you as an individual, getting to know that couple as an individual and collective, to then be able to provide personalized service, because it's not a cookie cutter, treat you the same way as everybody else, exactly because everyone is different and needs to be responded to and approached in different styles and communication styles, different love languages and times of the day, maybe.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah for sure. So then, how did you sort of make a career? I mean, obviously you didn't jump right away into like having your own business. I would assume you spent some time in hospitality and sort of boots on the ground, learning about all of this. Like, tell me more about sort of how that career trajectory looked for you.

Speaker 2:

I owe a lot of my core foundation to being classically trained and developed through the Ritz Carlton Hotel Company I started. The very beginning of my corporate career was at the Ritz Carlton in Orlando, grand Lakes, and I started as a server assistant.

Speaker 2:

So I served water and bread and a smile and polished a whole lot of silverware While I was going to pastry school actually, and so I got to learn the back of the house and the front of the house and how the relationship of the operation relies on one another. It's not the kitchen versus the server staff or vice versa, housekeeping versus front desk, it's all collectively for one big picture of the success of the operation, of the success of the employee journey, the guest journey and the overall experience. And so I started going to pastry school, working full time and picking up as many hours as I could in the food and beverage operations in the luxury market. And then I transitioned into front office.

Speaker 2:

Just due to availability and how my life was transitioning and still staying with the Ritz Carlton, I took on front desk and chose that fork in the road when life gives you an intersection and you choose to go left or right. I had an opportunity while I was at the front desk to then choose to go back to back of house and go pastry. Since that was my education, I chose to stick with front office because it was new and I haven't mastered it yet. So why would I just give that up? And I ended up growing from server assistant food and beverage to front desk agent, to growing my leadership career to GM by 30. So I really have climbed up the ladder, looked at different aspects, from city hotels to tropical island resorts to large properties to small boutique, independently owned resorts, and a whole facet of experiences that come with their own packages and life lessons, before taking the leap of entrepreneurship.

Speaker 1:

So what was that? What was that moment where you were like you know what? I think that I can do something bigger with this and I'm going to go out on my own. Was it? Was there a moment, or did you just sort of get to the point where you're like you know, I just want to take this as my next step.

Speaker 2:

So combination of a lot of life, moving pieces of life. Yeah, starting back, I knew when I was entry level I saw the opportunity to scale service from hourly. When I was a front desk agent I was interacting with one on one guests at a time, one on one line level employees and then reporting up to the leadership team and saw the opportunity to develop. So I said if I could grow in my leadership, I could impact more people by indirectly impacting more people. So I saw that as my framework. So going into supervisor allows me to then impact the whole team. That then impacts the guests and the full circle. Going into management impacts the team, that impacts the guests. And then growing all the way GM directors, managers and that whole impact of scale.

Speaker 2:

What I found was, rather than staying long term on one property as one chief leader, impacting all of the people in all of those ways, I thought, combined with COVID and the pandemic transitions, was all impacting the decision to take a leap of faith.

Speaker 2:

One of my closest loved ones is serial entrepreneur and gave me the faith and confidence to step out off of that comfortable corporate salary and career to be able to have a landing on that platform, which I think is really important that people don't talk about enough so you don't fall flat on your face so hard.

Speaker 2:

Failure is part of success, etc. But with my operation I come from that well defined structure of corporate, that plug and play that I can still have some flexibility to own. You're on your own and so that was a big piece was the supporting piece of loved ones and guidance, of leadership, of those who have done it before, and also that crucial timeline of prioritizing my health as well, and so I think the whole world on your shoulders and fighting the pandemic and unknown and uncertainty can can sometimes be distraction. So being able to step away and really focus on priorities and reset and focus on how I can be of more service helped me to really focus on building out that foundation to then, even to this day, keep stacking and seeing how I can scale and serve at a greater level.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. Yeah, you have a signature training program called service with a smile. I want you to tell people more about that and sort of what your, like, long term vision is for that.

Speaker 2:

There are a lot of visions and dreams all attached to it. So I do try to make it into bite size pieces, based on where I am with the stretch goal of where it can go, and then also realizing that it's based on my current mindset and where I think I can go, and challenging myself to break the barriers that I'm going through. And I think that's the most important thing of those limited ambitious beliefs, to know that it can go even larger the more that I surround myself with greater thinkers and more ambitious high achievers. So it initially started while I was boots on the ground. Like you said, I was already a director of the house running an operation.

Speaker 2:

I found area of improvement in that employee engagement that led directly to the guest engagement and I called it infusing happiness into hospitality. So the backstory, to answer your question, is being able to find that area of improvement is what inspired service with a smile, not just standard service training. That's a piece of it, but it's elevating it to make it really focused on the positive perspective of human interaction and that experience journey altogether. So service with a smile is broken down currently into about 16 modules that break down into three core piece, which is positivity, leads to productivity, leads to profitability, and so some businesses are so bottom dollar driven that the people part is sometimes a disconnect and that impacts the overall experience and there are some businesses that can thrive if it's product business. I still challenge that and say there's an experience attached to it. Anyway, I address so to go back to it is saying that currently I have a online platform that I'm continuing to build out so that it can be more accessible to other people, along with that idea to scale, because what I thought before was, while I was on boots on the ground, providing service to the team, offering Monday morning motivation table talks to break the ice between your life.

Speaker 2:

Coming into work and going straight into work gives you a 10 minute, 15 minute icebreaker to set your mindset right, to be in a positive space, to win your Monday morning so you can win your week. That's a big fragment of service, with a smile and then going into. Have you ever gone through your career and sat through one of those mandatory trainings? And from a positive mindset you get to you don't have to go through them, know these are mandatory, you have to attend kind of things and you sit through because you have to, and all you think about is all the other things you want to get done. You're not looking forward to the trainings. You don't retain a whole lot of them. We've all gone through it.

Speaker 1:

You're saying, like when can I take a restroom break to break this up and like make the time go by faster?

Speaker 2:

you're sitting extra coffee just because you know something to to activate more attention and stay alive and well, I've been through some really impressive training experiences that were really engaging and workshops and train the trainers throughout my career that have been grateful to go through.

Speaker 2:

But I've also gone through those dry, more difficult ones to keep your attention. So service with a smile does have live training, workshops and service standard masterclass type styles which are really fun. I thrive in the 25 or less leadership. 25 or less attendees in like the leadership space have done up to 150 people on stage, mic'd up, lit up, but I think that's less connecting and intentionally connecting that to align with my values, the service with a smile is more smaller team quality experience focused and also focused on the individuals wellness. So the big scale of where this could go is build a team of train the trainers and coaches and like really scale. Right now it's the one man show plus a supportive virtual assistant, which I'm forever grateful for. But the opportunity is endless of which direction it could go and I'm just I'm grateful to get to share the message and share the standards and sharing the care for the people who care for other people.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I cannot tell you how excited this makes me, because I have said for a while and I've been in various you know size businesses that I've worked for and I always say that you know we are human beings first and we're employees second and we have to be able to treat each other better in business and in life. And you know I look at these, these examples of you know people being let go and just the lack of you know any kind of like being intentional or really seeming like you care about that person. And I know that that after a certain point it's business, there's a, there's a you know bottom line to it. I get all of that, but there is a way to go about some of these things and that part is 100% lost in 90% of the companies that operate out there. And so I love I can't tell you how much I love this that you are like wanting to infuse kindness in company culture like hell, yes, please, it's powerful and I'm very selective with the consulting projects that I work with.

Speaker 2:

I'm not into like the training, but that brings me to life because I get to partner or co create, collaborate, connect with these entrepreneurial visionaries that sometimes don't understand the steps of the experience journey. They see their vision and they say how can I put it into place? And they have a clear, faith based, mission driven, people, focused, core values that exist and it's so in live any to get to see that that exists. And there are businesses out there that want to still Try financially so they can be sustainable, because without a financially successful business it's a lot harder to stay Employed, to keep your employees engaged as well. So dollars and cents is an important piece of it. But your point is we majority of us spend more time invested in work than we do in our own personal lives. And If you count on hands, hotels don't close their twenty four hours in operation. So when you're Queen of the castle, in charge of it, and you're on site, easy accessible, if there's a fire alarm that goes, even if it's not a full emergency, it's an oops, it went off. You come back on property at two am and make sure that everything is going about, specially in pre opening stages, and there's a lot of different pieces attached to it. Something you also said about people taking care of people. People first. Perspective is when you're letting someone go, there is an, there is a way to have a conversation in a professional way that is still human first and saying like, even if it's someone did it to themselves based on performance or choices or whatever else is going on in their life, they made choices. I've seen it not all of it, but probably seen ninety percent of potential opportunities and how you choose to respond to it does demonstrate your leadership Qualities and your choices of style, how you interact with those individuals, the good and the areas for improvement, and sometimes that can spark.

Speaker 2:

One of my favorite success stories was a Hourly employee who grinded and worked so hard but just had a very strong dominant personality that all the other leaders gave up on this individual and was ready to just stack with write ups to push them out and I said let me have a walk and talk. So if you get to know me, it'll be coffee and conversations, walk and talk, meet and eat. That way we have lunch, so it's a cute way to do it, but I had a walk and talk with this individual and said did you know? You're on your last leg. You might not see it from the leadership side, but I see it on the different angles.

Speaker 2:

Have those perspectives is so valuable. Sometimes you forget to have different perspectives, and not just your lens, but using all the different colors of the potential lens, not just black and white, but all the colors in between the spectrum. And this individual said haha, and something that we said in that conversation was the personal connection of understanding that we're human. I don't know what you're going through at home or personally or battling, but you have the hustle, you have the heart to perform at a top performer level. You're doing it, but you're ruining relationships in the meantime.

Speaker 2:

And that aha moment flipped the perspective that that person came and continue to be number one on all of the different rated categories and made a successful career for themselves. And so if you do the work to make sure that your cup is full first, you can better pour into other people before you just give up and kick them out, because it could be wasted talent if you just let them go and it costs more from a dollars and sense perspective and energy perspective to go through the rehire process, especially internationally. In the states it might take 30 to 45 days for the onboarding process, from first interview to starting your day International could take anywhere from two months to six months, depending on permitting and transferring and all of the details. It's a lot and that's a lot of money that you're missing without the retention of your employees. You have engaged employees and great performance that you're pouring into them. It does impact your bottom line but also your quality of consistent performers, which is so important.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, 100%. What would you say are some of the real or perceived barriers to more companies caring about this kind of thing?

Speaker 2:

The real or perceived. I love that question because a lot of it is the truth that you tell yourself that is your true. I think the barriers are sometimes that perspective of hustle for money versus the people part, because when you do have the trust of other people on the right seat of your bus, working all on the same direction for your goals, I would say the disconnect sometimes because the visionary has these big visions and then your team doesn't always have that communication of the clear values, vision and direction that you're headed. So if you've got alignment there, sometimes that's missed. That could be a perceived miss or not important because they're so focused on the bottom line. So I think the alignment is very important and individual check ins is often overlooked and I think that that could be a big missing piece. Maybe not a perspective, but they're like here's the, here's the cookie cutter way to run the operation.

Speaker 2:

Once a year, miss Shawna, you and I are going to meet on an annual review and maybe you'll get a bonus, maybe you won't, maybe you'll get a passing score, maybe you won't, but you are 90%, really, really great. And then, just up until that moment you got to check in. I think perceptionally or directly. It could be a better way to look about it by actually investing in the team and setting up a structure that you get to know each individual, based on their goals and their performance, to align with what your big picture is. You get there by and no one's pulling against the wagon as you're all trying to move forward. So I think that that's a big piece of not just culture of kindness, but alignment is a big thing.

Speaker 2:

Communication isn't just perceived, but communication is 99% of every miss, can, misunderstanding, I believe, and every obstacle, whether it's guest facing, ownership errors and employee errors or whatever it might be. Communication is a big piece. So I would look at a couple of different factors and overall just saying, like, what is the truth for your truth and are there areas to step back and look bigger picture to make sure that even the smallest little shift could work in your favor, to make it a better experience for your business, your employees and your guest collectively?

Speaker 1:

Mm, hmm, what would you say is like are you seeing a shift to more companies investing in this kind of training? I know from my personal experience that there are companies out there benefit corporations, certified be corpse, where you know they earn a seal of approval on things like you know transparency, accountability, how they treat their people, how they're treating the planet, etc. So it feels to me like and and certainly the younger demographics have said, if you don't care about these things, like we just won't support you. So there's, I think, a shift in how people are supporting or not supporting these kinds of businesses to. But from your perspective, are you seeing more companies shift to wanting to invest in this kind of thing?

Speaker 2:

I am, especially over the past decade, so focusing on studying positive psychology is something that interest me. About a decade ago and Dr Martin Seligman was one of the founders of this concept back from the Wharton school back in the 90s, and I started finding it and getting certified in it in 2016. I think it was so nearly eight or 10 years ago being able to look at the businesses choosing to invest in their employees is a shift, especially with the how can you find low cost, high impact for your return on your investment from the business dollars talk is. You can invest in your employees, who are, yes, your most expensive Investment, but it's also your most valuable resource in the success of your company. So it's to a street. Being able to invest in them, for something like this is so powerful.

Speaker 2:

Post pandemic, because the service industry collectively not just hotel hospitality, but service industries, places that are offering service were hit hard and it's still a covid comeback community and society. Right now, it's people still fighting to work from home or work from anywhere. So what is the incentive to come to the office? What is the incentive to Work for your company versus starting their own? There's so many new startups that everyone's seeing the shiny object syndrome of the fun side of working for yourself, which sometimes they don't see the hard part, but it is still. It's still work regardless of where your office is.

Speaker 1:

It is still work 24 seven. It's work. You're all the hats.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I like to say all the shoes, but all the hats, all the shoes, all the things, and it's true. So answer your question. I do see a demand for it. There is a lot of shift for, like you said, environmental focus, equality focus, a lot of those kind of topics. My focus, I see, is in the mental space, the impact of the mental health, the workplace wellness, and that's a lot leading back to the core principle of service with a smile.

Speaker 2:

It starts with you, right. Service could be everywhere, but service with a smile isn't everywhere. And when you think about it, like oh yeah, I just went to this coffee shop and that person just transactionally asking me for eight dollars for a coffee and then just being like here, versus some of the other styles of using your name, knowing your preference, greeting you before you walk to the cash register, you say good morning, shawna, it's great to see you. Would you like your normal? Like? That was a great experience. You leave them better than when they first crossed your path is A play on mother Teresa quote, which is a life philosophy that I live by, but it's also a core driver of service with a smile. If you can leave that other person better than when they crossed your path, it's a win.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, how do you stay so focused your mission? Because I would. I would assume that don't quote me, but it feels like I've read somewhere that it's easier to focus on things that are negative than it is to like stay focused on positivity or optimism, hope, things like that. How do you sort of stay really firm in your mission in the face of I'm assuming expected pessimism as you encounter people with this?

Speaker 2:

There are a lot of statistics to that, and not only from a marketing perspective. I just watched a video the other day complimenting this is If you go and watch a movie and you didn't enjoy it or you have an experience that is less than desirable, it triggers a negative result or a negative feedback. You are going to tell eleven persons of how negative that was versus your positive experience maybe three to four, that's why I?

Speaker 2:

was significant percentage of difference. So your spot on. How do I sustain it? So this is a fun backstory.

Speaker 2:

I was entry level manager and back in twenty thirteen, twenty fourteen, and being a hotel manager allows you the opportunity for guests who have complaints to escalate to you because they don't necessarily have the relationship of trust With the line level employees. Based on not being able to trust service professionals because Not fully engagement, not ownership, not having those key principles instilled in them, building that culture where you know you can trust each other, that I'm here to help, right? I'm in the service industry. I want to help people. They instantly go. I need to be your manager. I just chose to be a manager because I want to serve more people. That's why I wanted to go that route. I didn't want to get yelled at every day. So what I found was that there's in the leadership role. It's not only leading and developing the team, which is where my heart's at, it's also solving the world's greatest problems, like when you're light bulb is out or you had your do not disturb sign on and didn't get housekeeping service. You can't say it's your fault for putting the do not disturb sign on, finding all of these little things that are first world problems but are also luxury hotel. It's the 1% luxury service experience in the world. So you're going to have these tiny little things that From a positive perspective, you don't want to focus on the negative, but you've got to be able to find the opportunity in the problem. If you can look at as an opportunity, you can find a solution. I say solution focused opportunities versus resolving a problem, right? So it is kind of a flip the script game and sometimes I think I'm crazy. If you heard what was in my head of how can I find the light and love in this scenario? Also, choosing to be the positive one, filling up my cup means that my cup is very big. It needs to be full before it can pour out. Yeah, and the amount of pouring that is involved to the more that you grow into leadership or the more that you're in real in the in the grind of the service industry, is you're pouring into everyone every day. So that entry level Kylie of leadership said actually to one of my interns who's now taking over hospitality training space he's doing amazing, but we had a conversation in the back office about how we would take over service one day. And all these great aspirations and we came up with the title of director of happiness and it started to stick. And so if you see on my LinkedIn it says director of happiness, I'll introduce myself as that, rather than hotel manager, and people will say, oh, what's that? And they smile If I introduce you. Shana hi, I'm Kylie Ray of Sunshine, director of happiness.

Speaker 2:

Some think, ok, like Disneyland, la La, like your life is sunshine in rainbows, and I said it's a fight every day, trying to find that sunshine and be the light. Not only find the light right you have to search for it and find it but to create it so that you can spark the light and other people is a lot of work. It's a lot of work. So I do that by doing my own priming practices, my own reading, and what a loved one used to tell me is what you ingest right not just food, choosing fresh food that keeps you fueled, but the environments that you're in, the music, the people you surround yourself with. I'm not on a negative, shouting, raw type, abusive podcast. I'm on a French kissing life bring joy to other people.

Speaker 1:

podcast is very intentional right, so it's a line.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, yes. I hope that helps answer your question, but that's kind of the script to make it a light perspective. And then you have to be aware of on the areas when you are human and you start to drop, can you catch yourself to bring yourself back up? And that's the gratitude piece. Leverage gratitude to boost your mood. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Be kind, yeah, be kind. There can never be too much kindness, which it leads to my. My last question, before we get to the game that we're going to play, and it's this is a two part question. So for those of the folks that are listening, that work for somebody else, they can't just necessarily say like, hey, boss, I want you to implement this kind of training so that this culture is better. What can they do to, you know, maybe inspire some more positivity around them? And you know, maybe that's not as great of an environment as they would like, but the reality is, is that this, this job, pays the bills. So what could they do to, kind of like, start to implement some of these ideas to make everything you know maybe a little bit more positive and bring more sunshine?

Speaker 2:

Great question. There is a quote and forgive me, I'm not prepared for who said it is be the change you wish to see in the world. So if I were putting my sunshine in everyone else's pocket and waiting for their approval to give me sunshine so I can have sunshine, to give more sunshine, right, it would. It would be very difficult because everyone's in a different state of mind or maybe they're having a dark cloud syndrome type day. We all go through them.

Speaker 2:

Being able to leverage your own cup and your own, the temperature thermometer kind of concept, is not just waiting on the heat of the room, but you controlling your thermometer thermometer versus thermostat you're controlling your temperature.

Speaker 2:

So if you're choosing that thermostat setting for you to be set at a high level before you walk into the room to impact other people, that individual, whether they go through training or not, can choose what they need to fill up their cup to better be kind to other people as simple as a greeting. I say this this is like the moneymaker right here the low cost, high impact tool that we all can use to brighten someone's day, including our own, is a smile If you smile at yourself in the mirror, if you smile at other people. When I smile at you, you just smiled, right, mm. Hmm, doing that, as showing up with a smile can go a long way and that's the simple step, and then being kind, following that smile with actions of sincere, genuine kindness, I think is the way to pave the path to a better culture, without waiting for direction and approval to be kind, just taking ownership and initiative and showing up that way.

Speaker 1:

And that's why, like every episode, I have a kindness and action segment, because I want people to be able to not only be more kind to themselves, but then to you know, it's just, it's a ripple effect. The second part of that question maybe the answer is the same, I don't know. But if, if there's a business owner listening to this maybe a small business owner what can they do to even if it's just them right now to kind of infuse some of these things so that, if their business grows to the point where they're bringing on employees, they've already set the foundation that this is the culture that they're going to have?

Speaker 2:

Contact me, let's have coffee and let's curate a specific plan for your business, because every business is different.

Speaker 2:

A lot of it is what are your core values? Many of the companies that I work with are small business that are profitable and doing great things, but looking to create experiences, and they haven't defined the experience touchpoints that make or break the experience, and they don't necessarily have defined core values that are implemented with those employees. So if you have core values, then that partners with the right employees that you're trying to attract, because then that's the decision when you're making decisions and solving for solution opportunities, solution focused opportunities you can leverage, based on your core values, to make the right decision, and so I think that the employee doesn't have to invest a whole slew of money to go to a conference, to invest in speakers and trainers and all the things. There are resources. I have complementary platform for valuable resources and I can always make recommendations too. So I think it starts with conversations and starting with themselves too. Are they leading with kindness? And that will infuse into the rest of what they're creating, naturally.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and you have these amazing Monday morning motivation messages as well that that are free, that they can sign up for as well. So we'll include those in the show notes, thank you, ok. So we're going to play a little game. I am calling this. The service with a smile says so it's a play on survey. Says if you used to watch the prices, right. So I'm going to give you situations and these are actual situations that have happened that are either the customer or the service provider, so it could be both. I'm going to give you the situation and I want you to tell me a way that they could do that better. So they'll be. These are pretty common but also specific in that they they have really happened. So the first one is a waitress comes your table and just says what can I get you? How would you frame that? So service with a smile says here's what you should do differently, that's real.

Speaker 2:

It makes me think of it from a hotel perspective. If you walk to the front desk and they go checking in, oh makes my skin crawl. Makes my skin crawl. Yes you're asking a question to provide service. But service with a smile would be start one smile to make a greeting, greeting the table first, not just, yeah, what do you want? What can I get you? So I would say good morning, shana.

Speaker 2:

Welcome back if you're a repeat customer. Good morning, welcome to XYZ diner. My name is Kylie. I'll be serving you with a smile today. Do you have any questions on the menu? May make any recommendations, kind of making that relationship based experience and then that way you can get to know them and make personal recommendations. Or are you ready to order? May I take your order, please, and kind of full phrase, not a phrase fragment, but a full sentence. That is conversation focused. You're building a relationship which is two-way street, not just what do you want? Yeah, yeah, yeah, great. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So the next one is passing blame. So maybe the person's like this wasn't supposed to be my table, or like the kitchen is taking forever, or nobody told me that I had to take it, nobody told me that I had a table I mean, we've all seen this one too. So passing blame. How could that person do better in that situation?

Speaker 2:

Service with a smile phrase that pays is not my job is not an option. Not, my job is not an option. Well, he said, she said they could. I guess when you're a little, maybe it's when I point one finger at you, I have four fingers pointing back at me, like that elementary riddle. That is real, is taking ownership. So if we're talking through this, this is a fun game. First of all, thank you for this Good good. One of the interactive, fun parts of service with a smile trainings is the realistic role play. So we take these real topics and say how would you, at your table, bring up this topic and how would you find the solution? And realizing that it's not only my way or the highway, it's, here's a suggested solution knowing that there's different people involved and they might handle it differently, but also setting that tone of core values, of teamwork and ownership. And looking at not blaming there is a way to look at it as a teamwork opportunities and finding a solution, saying that, okay, is it a process? Is it a training? Is it? How can we better support you so that you can better find an answer or a solution in this scenario Specifically, oh it was the kitchen or oh, it was this.

Speaker 2:

It could be a process, a glitch in the process that is throwing. Maybe it's a seating process, if we're talking restaurants and the hostess just accepted 25 tables at the same time and it overflows the kitchen and they can't produce at that quick turnaround time because everyone ordered a souffle which takes 35 minutes to prepare. Ah, there's a delay in service. So getting to the root cause, I would say, is part of that is can you practice the solution focused initiatives by finding the root cause, not just the surface level band-aid and we'll just fix this? If there's a leak, if there's an engineering leak and you only buy paper towels to clean up the puddle, you're not fixing where the leak in the pipe is coming from. Same as a service perspective. So I would dig deeper to see is it an individual lack of ownership? Is it a lack of training? Is it a process that needs to be adjusted, or are there tools that need to be implemented to better support this so it doesn't happen again?

Speaker 1:

Okay. So the next one is constantly being passed around to different representatives. So I'm on my fourth or fifth customer service representative and every single time I have to like re-verify my information. So by that point I am angry and pissed off, I'm frustrated. How can that one, how can they do better with that?

Speaker 2:

Couple of ways is, if that does happen or you're incorrectly transferred, I find the root cause of that is the first person who took the call may have transferred you to the wrong extension, and that's a training opportunity. Training opportunity two is the level of service is. Once I collect your information, that is a treasure to me and I, as the provider to you, are making your life easier, maybe simpler, so that you don't have to think too much or work too hard. You took the time you waited on hold, you got a hold of me, first impression. Then I go through the chain of command. I would do a role play in the training of whisper down the lane of here, pass it on, pass it on, pass it on. Then the guests on the other end. 100% frustrated I would be too. It's your time and energy that you are investing to get, looking for a solution or looking for service.

Speaker 2:

To flip it is, I would say, starting at the very beginning. We can avoid six unnecessary transfer calls and six times of you having to put all that extra work in to repeat yourself. If I take that call first and I know that I'm not the right representative to be able to find your solution, ms Shauna, do you mind if I place you on a brief hold? Allow me to extend you to someone who can better assist you. It's going to take a minute or two so I can repeat what you shared with me to the right representative who can better help you. Is that okay if I place you on a brief hold, do you mind? Not at all, kylie, great, allow me just a moment. Please place you on hold. You're listening to this beautiful, peaceful music while I'm doing everything on the back end. I come back to you and say thank you so much for holding. I have connected with Tony in tech. Whatever we're connecting you to, he is fully aware of what you just shared with me and he's the perfect person who will be able to help you find a solution.

Speaker 2:

Allow me one moment and I'll introduce you. You make that three way connection Tony, jana Bada. Here you go. Thank you again. My name is Kylie. If I can be of any further assistance, you know how to reach me on direct dial and I wish you the most pleasant day. Lovely, that just eliminated from everyone the extra six people in between that didn't need to even receive the call. Now they're frustrated because they're getting extra calls they don't need to. It's not productive, it's not an engaging experience for you as a client. You're not ever going to want to call back if you're going through that. So you're building trust by saying, wow, she took care of me, she listened, she cared, and then Tony was able to solve the tech stuff. That was great.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, okay, so two more. This one, admittedly, happens to me constantly and it makes me so frustrated. You order food to go, or you're ordering it and you're picking it up, but most of this is like to go, or it's being delivered. The bag has been marked that it's been quality checked and my order is still wrong. They forgot to add the guacamole, or just like you know. They're like yeah, we've looked this over, it's right, and it's missing the dressing for a salad. I mean, it's just stupid things that you're like, seriously, you even marked on the bag that this was right and it's still not right.

Speaker 2:

A lot of that is ownership. So when that does happen, what is the solution? When someone comes to you and say this is incorrect, how do you respond? That's one. Two is the root cause of saying there's a breakdown in our process. Is there someone truly quality checking or are they just putting the sticker and moving forward? That ownership piece is what we talked about from the very beginning, when that grandfather type figure owner believed in you and you wanted to make him proud and do the best you could be. So being able to have a culture of kindness and focus on service excellence gives you a platform of your process and your standards being excellent, meaning that your tolerance for inaccuracy can't continue.

Speaker 2:

If there is an error, then what is the accountability process? To coach and counsel and share what can be improved, find why. Is there a hole in that process that is inconsistent Cause? Maybe it's a trend and it's happening regularly. Is there something that you have in place to collect feedback when things don't go well? That's relationship with your guests that they can trust you to share feedback and then be able to say that specifically if okay, hotel example, housekeeping attendant cleans the room and doesn't restock them any bar, then housekeeping supervisor inspects the room before front desk can hand over keys. So there's a lot of steps before your room is physically ready, which a lot of guests don't know either. So, understanding all of the pieces of the process that guarantee it to be quality checked, if there's a misstep in there.

Speaker 2:

Refocusing on who is the quality checker, are they qualified to be the quality checker, and how can you make sure that what is already requested, same as forwarding the calls, right? You said what you would request in your order. It was entered correctly on the receipt, but the quality check was the missing piece. That's the root cause. Is that piece of the process is missing? So I would retrain or go to that individual Is it that specific individual or is it consistently across all the inspectors that are missing the step and finding a solution to make it an easier process or a simpler process that is truly enforced. So if you receive the prestige of being a qualified quality inspector, it needs to be quality, has to be accurate, has to be timely and all of the values attached to it, and I think that that would be an easier way to go about it. Saying cross check, you don't cross check.

Speaker 1:

Then there's accountability sometimes too, yeah, the tough, love, kindness, yes, yes, okay, this last one. It's really hard for me to get this one out because it's so outrageous. This really did happen too. Okay, so I've purchased groceries and the person that's checking them out picks up my rotisserie chicken and sniffs it before putting it in the bag True story. How would you suggest they fix?

Speaker 2:

that. How did you respond when that happened?

Speaker 1:

Did that person just do that in my head and was just like, okay, because I've never encountered that before, ever. It was the strangest thing that's a fun one.

Speaker 2:

I guess my question would be if you just think about it and walk away, then you have a potentially contaminated roasted chicken. So I would maybe go to if I were the customer. I think that that individual, if I were the leader, going to that individual, if I received the feedback from the customer service grocery store counter, right. So I would just add to the narrative and it might not be your true story, but if I were the customer, put on the customer hat. I would take that and go over to customer service desk If I wasn't comfortable. I clearly don't have a relationship with the cash register person and the cashier might be offended by me being offended by them sniffing my chicken. So I would take that over to customer service and say do you mind if I exchange this?

Speaker 2:

I had an interesting interaction with the cashier and don't want to get her in trouble, but I just I'm not comfortable paying for this. Can I have a fresh one? Make the exchange. Customer service should be able to handle that, no problem. Then let's say that this was my influence as service with a smile provider for working with this grocery store. I would then take that as a training opportunity collectively for the team. I would individually go to aisle seven and speak to that person and say, hey, something that we could, does this make sense? How would you handle this in the future? And play a role play so we can agree on how to handle that in the future and talk about how that's hygiene and sanitation and food safety and also not service excellence. But I would share that as a training opportunity, as a unique one, and maybe she didn't realize it, she was hungry and maybe we can do earlier lunch breaks to avoid that from happening.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, it was so bizarre, maybe invite you back for free chicken in the future, like as above and beyond effort. Woo, that's a fun one.

Speaker 1:

All right, so let's get into your rapid fire questions. These are everybody's favorite, so I'll start you. Go, let's get to it. What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?

Speaker 2:

I moved to the Caribbean with less than $2,000 in my bank account in my early 20s, not knowing a soul.

Speaker 1:

I mean, the Caribbean feels like a really good place to do that, so I'm putting that on my list. If you were to write a book about your life, what would the title be? Smile and get rich Also good. What's one small thing that always makes your day better? A smile.

Speaker 2:

A smile.

Speaker 1:

Or a hug, I love hugs.

Speaker 2:

I do love hugs. Compliment, kindness.

Speaker 1:

Yes, okay, name a celebrity you had a crush on when you were growing up.

Speaker 2:

All of the boy bands. Like Nick Carter, I was the biggest boy band fan in the whole world Brian from the Backstreet Boys, nick Kevin, howie, aj. Like all of them, I was a Backstreet Boys fan and, in sync, all the boys.

Speaker 1:

I don't want to date myself, but I was a new kid's on the block girl myself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, with Jordan.

Speaker 1:

Joe.

Speaker 2:

Joey, it was a J.

Speaker 1:

Joey Joe. Have you ever had a nickname? If so, what was it?

Speaker 2:

Kylie Ray of Sunshine. It still is to this day and it's inspired my brand and my Instagram handle.

Speaker 1:

Amazing, who gave you the nickname initially?

Speaker 2:

I want to say my mom. She's just saying you are my sunshine when you're little, and one of my best friends in the whole world still calls me that Sometimes it's shortened now to crows, yeah. And then, complimenting that, miss McConagy in fourth grade called me smiley Kylie, so the smile is always been there, it's always been there.

Speaker 1:

I love that you've just made it into your career. What's the strangest thing you're afraid of?

Speaker 2:

The strangest thing I'm afraid of Okay, so this is kind of deep or interesting and I don't know if it's relatable but I used to say when I was studying, through service with a smile or before service with a smile really became about, is I was afraid of my own power, which I know now, with everyone's trauma and society kind of conversations, is more of a real thing, but I didn't really understand how that was a fear, but I was. I was afraid of my own power and I don't mean light, but like your ability to do things, because I was like limitless and I was little and I could just do all the things. So I was afraid of my own personal power.

Speaker 1:

I'm glad that you have like worked through that one, because you are affecting a lot of people, so it's good that you're not still afraid of that. Thank you, french kiss or French fry Kisses all the time, thank you. What is the song that, when it comes on, you immediately want to get up and dance, preferably on a table, oh so many.

Speaker 2:

So there's dance monkey. Do you know that song? Maybe dance monkey. I don't know who sings it she, I think she's a British girl, but it's so fun. I heard it in Ikea and started dancing and like it's really fun. And there is a classic song that instantly makes me smile maybe not dance on a table, but will make me sing out loud and it's from 1910. Louis Prima, and it's called when you're smiling. Michael Buble is remade it, frank Sinatra is remade it and it's like my signature service with a smile. Yeah, brand song, but that one, that song, I have a whole playlist I'll have to give it to you.

Speaker 1:

I know Well, I need to actually make a playlist of everybody's songs. What's one thing you've always wanted to try but haven't yet?

Speaker 2:

I would say. Just most recently I talked about skiing. I've never skied. It's not like if I never ski it won't break my heart, but I just talked about it. You've always wanted to try it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, if you could do anything right in this moment that would make you feel free, what would you do?

Speaker 2:

Go swimming in the Caribbean Sea.

Speaker 1:

Skinny tip or with a suit on.

Speaker 2:

Oh, good question with a suit on. But I remember your first podcast and that interaction Great question. But swimming in the sea, just the sunshine on your skin, the salt water, it's so freeing and it's beautiful.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so last question that I ask every single person that comes on what does French kissing life mean to you?

Speaker 2:

French kissing. Life to me means taking action and living life affectionately and passionately and purposefully.

Speaker 1:

I love that. I love that that's such a simple but yet profound way of summing it up.

Speaker 2:

I love the concept and I'm honored to get to be here and share this with you. I can't thank you enough for having me and to share a smile and share your mission to spark joy and other people, so I'm so grateful.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, yes, thank you. Thank you for being here and tell everybody where they can find you. We'll include the information in our show notes as well, but if they want to reach out and find you, how can they do that?

Speaker 2:

Thank you. The easiest way is on social media. Kylie Ray of Sunshine K-Y-L-I-E-R-A-E, which happens to be my middle name of Sunshine. My email is info at crostlife I-N-F-O-A-K-R-O-SL-I-F-E and that's a great starting point. Perfect.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for being here, Kylie. I love, love, love the work you're doing and I hope that it radiates through every single quarter of the universe.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, ms Shawna. You too, I hope you have a great rest of your day.

Speaker 1:

I wish you could all have seen Kylie's face when I sprung the rotisserie chicken example on her. I've got to figure out how to share these video clips so you can all enjoy it. Adding it to my to-do list. So I had several ideas that came to mind after my conversation with Kylie, so this episode's kindness in action segment is going to be just a little more extra. Being above and beyond, apparently, is just my MO. So here are some things you can apply to your lives right now, whether you have five minutes or 50. Because I know some of my listeners are business owners, I have two different tips if you have five minutes. So if you have five minutes and you have a business, read an article I found from Harvard that gives you ideas for how to create positive customer experiences. And if you are not a business owner and you have five minutes, read the article that I found on the health benefits of smiling, which is something that Kylie talked about. So, to be honest, I didn't want to share a resource that was sort of on the here's how to be positive at work line of thinking, because I know that for some of you, maybe the work environment that you are in is currently anything but positive. Maybe it's on the toxic side. I know that's not for everybody. I know that a lot of people have very great work environments, that they work with them, but for this particular kind of an action segment I just felt like I didn't want to go with something that was how to be positive at work, because it felt a little disingenuous to me.

Speaker 1:

And what I loved so much about my conversation with Kylie and what I love so much about the work that she's doing is that she's really trying to make a difference in cultures, in how we treat each other in business and in life. And, as she talked about, that really starts with you. You have the power to approach certain situations, and so I wanted to kind of give you a resource that made you feel grounded so that you can go into a work environment or a situation, no matter what it is. If it is more on the toxic side, then you are empowered to feel grounded yourself and know that you're doing your best to remain positive, no matter what the situation. So just wanted to explain myself a little bit there on why I didn't choose something that was geared toward ways to just feel positive at work. There's a lot of that stuff out there, but I think she talks about the benefits of smiling, and that's something that is always within our control and something very easy and doable. So just wanted to explain myself there, because it's something that I know both of us are obviously very passionate about.

Speaker 1:

And then, if you have 50 minutes, I am suggesting you check out a list of 114 best positive thinking books. Again, I feel like this is a topic that has enough nuance that I wanted to give you a resource where you had some choice on which direction to go with further digging, because even with books, there are some that focus a lot on toxic positivity or not understanding the reality of situations and privilege and stuff like that, and so I want you to kind of like have your pick of books that you like feel called to and not sort of narrow in on something that isn't going to feel genuine to you. So there's a lot of really good books on that list, so take your pick there. And then, if you want to check out Kylie's work, she has free Monday morning motivation messages that are designed to spark inspiration to help you win your Monday, which will help you win your week, and, just as a reminder. All of these resources, as well as a way to connect with Kylie, will be in the show notes. So I hope you enjoyed this week's episode and we'll see you next time.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of the French Kissing Life podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did. If you're enjoying the show, shower us with a five star rating and hit that subscribe button to make sure you never miss a future episode. And if you would be so kind and give the show a review, I'll sweeten the deal for you. Since you know I live for good conversation, I want to hear from you. Share your favorite takeaways, an aha moment you had, or a fun emoji that represents this week's show, along with your Instagram handle or email address, and you'll be entered to win this month's giveaway. The French Kissing Life movement is gaining momentum, and your ratings and reviews play a pivotal role in propelling the show to new heights. Until next week, mwah.