French Kissing Life

Ep 28: Things I Remind Myself During Hard Times

• Shawnna Stiver • Episode 28

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What if embracing your most authentic self could help you navigate life's biggest challenges? Today I open up on a deeply personal and honest episode, where I share my journey through life's tumultuous times. From the difficulties of modern dating to dealing with intense emotions and societal pressures, I openly talk about how being genuine and real is more crucial than ever. You'll hear about my own struggles, along with comical and memorable moments that remind us all of the importance of gratitude and resilience.

Topics covered:

  • My current challenges and the importance of being genuine.
  • The pressures and difficulties of managing a business.
  • My experience with dating and the social pressures.
  • The emotional toll of managing multiple roles.
  • Coping with anxiety and emotional awareness.
  • Shifting perspectives on strength and personal growth.

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Until next time, muah!

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to French Kissing Life.

Speaker 1:

I'm your host, shauna Stiver, and I am thrilled to help you discover what makes your heart race, your soul dance and your spirit soar. Every week you'll get a fun dose of inspiration, laughter and a sprinkle of magic as we explore stories, insights and conversations that empower you to ignite the spark within, in a world that demands you be anything but yourself. This is your permission slip to be a little more you. Together, let's shed the shoulds, embrace our unique brilliance and welcome more joy. Are you ready to French Kiss Life? Welcome back to another episode of French Kissing Life.

Speaker 1:

I am your host, shauna Stiver. What's up? Everybody, everybody? Yeah, just kidding, I am coming to you today for a solo mission. No guest today, just me on the mic stripping it down to the real and the raw Truth. Be told, I do have guests that I could get ready, but I'm just to honor that. And so which, by the way, I am very excited about the episodes that I have recorded.

Speaker 1:

I have some amazing guests coming on. I have one guest in particular who I wanted on the show. Like from the beginning of the idea, I was like he has to come on the show. So that's coming, and there's some other really great conversations, but I just wanted to be real today because I am I alluded to it in the last episode but I'm I'm really in a valley at the moment and I think that you know what this show is all about is not just, you know, playful, fun, energy all the time. Although, if I had to choose, I would want to always be known as being funny. No, I'm, no, that's not true, let's put it this way. I would want I find funny to be the biggest compliment, but I would always, always, always, want to be known for someone who's genuine, known for someone who's genuine, and that is really important for me. And so I just want to talk today and give you a little behind the scenes of what's been going on, and I really want to just connect with anyone out there who is feeling not their best, with anyone out there who is feeling not their best, so that you don't feel alone, Because I told you, I promised you from the very beginning, that there would be no toxic positivity.

Speaker 1:

No, no, no, there's none. It's not happening. And so today we are going to just chat. I don't have a script, I'm winging it. It's going to be imperfect and that's just fine with me have been going through anguish for four plus years, and although we have, you know, like, gotten through some things and have learned and have maybe realized what's important, there's still a lot of turmoil happening all around us every day, every day, and it's really hard to just continue to put your smile on your face and, to you know, keep going through life like that isn't happening.

Speaker 1:

And I think that it's really dangerous to urge people to continue staying positive. Obviously, that is very much toxic positivity, but it's also really dismissive of what someone may be going through, and so I know for me that when I'm in a place like that, I just need a hand to steady me through those ups and downs, through those waves, and so I hope that this episode helps you feel supported. And I just want to be very clear that none of the reminders or things that I'm going to talk about are easy for me right now. Like it's, I don't have it all figured out, I never will. It's not really the point of life, but I think it can be helpful to talk through you know what you're doing as a way to potentially give somebody else, you know, a thought starter or a next right step that they can take too. So I will just start out by saying it's July 2nd, on the eve of the 4th of July, and I really don't like this holiday of the 4th of July and I really don't like this holiday and it honestly has nothing to do with the actual holiday, although any of you dog lovers out there know that dogs and fireworks is just not a great combination. I mean, fireworks and like people that are sensitive to those kinds of noises are not cool, and so I.

Speaker 1:

Poor Ruthie she is actually doing better this year because they're already going off in our neighborhood. She's doing better but in years past, like she is anxious to the point where she's shaking. She won't come in the room where it's like you know, the living room where there's the window is like closest to where they're happening. She won't like come anywhere close. Um, I have to give her medicine. I have to put on this like dog calming music, which is actually a thing on YouTube. Um, that just helps them like calm, um, and not hear what's going on and definitely not see, uh, what's going on. I learned actually a couple of weeks ago, when the baseball game was doing their fireworks, that we have a perfect view out my window, um, but unfortunately the sight of them really freaked her out and so, um, I had to shut the blinds, but anyway. So, fingers crossed. This year Ruthie is a little bit better. This year Ruthie is a little bit better.

Speaker 1:

But I have thought about like, why this holiday is not my favorite, and I think there's a couple of reasons. For one in high school I was in band as you know, I'm an accomplished saxophonist over here and in high school we always played the parade for the 4th of July, and I don't know why, but it always felt like, about the time that we would do the parade, it was like we're already on the downhill to the end of summer, because shortly thereafter we had to start coming to marching band practice, and so it just always felt like that parade, that holiday was like downhill from here, like summer's over, might as well pack it up and, you know, get back to school. And so that was always like a really depressing feeling for me. And then, another reason I think that this holiday is difficult Uh, so I talked about having a relationship in my twenties, um, and the first episode that was very tumultuous and it was very up and down and, um, the one of the really like positive memories from that relationship, um was one of our first dates, which was around the 4th of July, and I remember we were going to go watch fireworks somewhere, and I can't remember if we'd like gone to dinner first or not, but we were definitely, like you know, planning to just like hang out, go watch the fireworks outside, like by the river.

Speaker 1:

And so we stopped at this store and, um, we bought a couple of those like camp chairs, you know, the ones that you take them out of the bag and you unfold the chair and it's just, you know, there and we drove around and found the spot that we were going to watch the fireworks and we pulled the chairs out of the car and then we pulled them out of their little carrying bag and the chairs were for toddlers and we just like pulled them and like tried pushing them together and pulling it back out again, Like that was going to somehow, you know, make this chair grow. Like, does anybody have water to put on this chair for it to grow to a real size for an adult? No, okay, cool. So we had chairs for toddlers that neither of us was going to sit on, and so we had to make do with the situation. And I just remember that you're sitting there talking and the fireworks are going off, and he is definitely trying to lay a smooth line on me by saying something about having his own fireworks, smooth line on me by saying something about having his own fireworks, and I, being the slightly naive blonde as I am, didn't catch on right away and um, anyway, so long story short, first kiss, the fireworks are going off.

Speaker 1:

It was this very like romantic and um, momentous, uh, memory, and you know the there were those memories in that relationship. They were few and far between, but, um, when you are trying to heal from something like that, I think those memories can either be a positive thing or they can just be hard to remember. And for the longest time they were hard to remember for me because it was painful, and I think that's the other thing that I usually feel. I've had, you know, stretches, long stretches of being single and not having found my person, and so there's often this feeling of I'm missing out on something, or people have something that I want and they're doing all these fun things and I'm not.

Speaker 1:

And I know that comparison is the thief of joy. I, cognitively, I logically know that comparing is a fruitless endeavor, but I'm human and it hurts and I do long for companionship, and so if anybody is feeling that, like me, maybe you are wishing that you were spending your holidays differently, or you are, maybe you're with the wrong person and you are thinking about what you thought was going to be your future and is no longer. I don't know, um, but I think that you know, holidays can bring out those times where you know we get around family and they ask us the questions that we don't want to talk about, or we, you know, or imply where society thinks you to know that you're not alone in that, and those can be like difficult emotions, and so I'm not really looking forward to the holiday, but at the same time, I think it's also, you know, an opportunity to look for those little things. Sometimes it can be hard to even, you know, feel the gratitude. And so, looking for those little tiny things, that can, you know, just be the silly video, dog video that someone sends you, or you know, a toddler getting tickled over something, or the innocence of you know, whatever it is Like, those are the things that I try to grab onto to ground myself, but it's definitely not easy and so not not excited about the holiday, and that's okay. So, gosh, how did I get here?

Speaker 1:

So things have been very challenging lately and nothing is wrong. I mean, by and large, there's a lot of things that are fine, there's a lot of things that are going right and there's been a lot of really like. The last few months have been just really stressful for me. I had all three of my family members my two parents and my brother, my immediate family members all had unexpected hospital visits. They are all fine. Thankfully they are all fine. Thankfully, um, they're.

Speaker 1:

But but you know when, when that's going on, it's, uh, all consuming, it's scary, it's, you know, it's all the things. And so, um, one of the things that came out of that time, um, is the realization that my business is not sustainable without me. So if I needed to tend to a family matter for weeks, if I got sick myself, my business wouldn't survive without me. And that was a really scary feeling. It was a very uncomfortable feeling. It was one of those what the fuck do I do now? Kind of things which you know. It's an understandable thing that you know people go through.

Speaker 1:

Running a business is fucking hard. Mine grew fast, which, you know, I'm obviously very grateful for, but it's also really hard to navigate that because a lot of things fall onto my shoulders, um, as the owner of the business, as the one that's in, you know, most of the day to day, um, and unfortunately I'm the only one that can dig out of this too I'm the only one that can make the business sustainable. I'm the only one who can change how it's structured so that it is structured in a better way, moving forward, and so all of that still means that I'm overworking, and so I had a really big project, like several weeks in May, and then another huge project in June, and you know, in the meantime, the podcast needs to keep going. Thankfully, I had so many episodes that you know I had already recorded Um, but even with something like this which, don't get me wrong like my podcast is the thing that is the most joy for me at the moment and I don't want to, um, you know like, stop that or or you know, um, I want, I want that to keep going, but there's still the pressure that I have about, you know, getting the episodes out and and promoting them, and you know, creating like ads, and what am I doing about the giveaway, and you know, like what about finding new guests and all of those things that like need to be thought about to keep it going.

Speaker 1:

Like, all of that again is on my shoulders and it's just like a laundry list of things that need done and no time to do it. Um, because I'm already working way too many hours, having periodic nights where I'm up until 12.31, working when I started at 10 am that day, all to just meet deadlines and keep clients happy and keep everything going. And then, on top of that, I have been having terrible sleep, shocking right, because I get into bed and that's the only break that I've had that day. And so I want to veg out. And I'm not even a person that, like watches TV. I mean, this is I try not to like find these things that make me abnormal compared to everybody else, but that is one where I'm like, yeah, I, I don't um hardly turn on the TV, not because I don't enjoy watching TV, but I think like it's not the thing that I just turn to um automatically, although perhaps it would help quiet my brain if I did turn it on more. I don't know. But so my sleep has just been really suffering, and it's hilarious because my mom used to tell me like well, you're just tired, and I would get so angry, I'd be so pissed, even like as an adult. Sometimes I would be like, why is she saying this about being tired? You're just like dismissing how I feel. And then it dawned on me that perhaps my mom knew what she was talking about, because I have been getting terrible sleep and it's really affecting my physical health, where I am just like drowning and it sucks so bad.

Speaker 1:

And I don't take vacation as a business owner. Um, that is another thing that is so different from, you know, having a full-time job. You don't have built-in vacation time. If you are trading time for money, which is where I'm currently at, then a day like vacation means that there isn't anybody to pick up the slack. You just have to finish the thing or make up the time somewhere else in the same month, and so it's really challenging to change how you think about it and you know again like there isn't anybody that can just sort of like handle your stuff for you, although obviously you know, going back to making this more sustainable, like that, is a definite goal, but for right now it isn't a reality, and so if I take time off, then I have to, like, finish the work somehow in other days, and so that doesn't really mean that I'm taking time off. And so, um, that's hard, and Ruthie needs training.

Speaker 1:

Um, I've been saying this for, you know, three years and, um, she's a really good girl. She really is Like, her heart is in such a good place, but she's so energetic and she's jumpy and she wants her way and she gets her way. Not because I'm not aware of proper training, it's that I don't know what I'm doing wrong with her and so I'm reinforcing bad behavior because I just don't know what to do differently. And you know, some people might be like, well, you know, you get a dog, like it's your responsibility, and it's like, yeah, I get it, I get it, but like, when there's no extra free time already, it's just another thing that is being added to the list of to-dos that never get to done, and it is just so hard. And then you try to eat right and you try to exercise and you try to have social time and dating for me, and it's like, fuck, I don't know how people do this. I just really don't know how you do it all. I mean, you can't do it all. That's sort of the point.

Speaker 1:

But I don't think we talk enough about how lonely growth can feel. It's lonely. You are the one person that can get yourself out of that place you, you alone, like it's, it's on you and it's really hard. And I just think that we should talk about that more and I think that we talk about it on here a lot about how we're just as human beings, we're just not meant to do all this alone, to do all this alone. And I think one of the things that I struggle with the most about, you know, being single, is that I just wish that sometimes I could like have someone to share the load with, and I I trust and I believe in my heart that I will find that. But that's you know heart, that I will find that. But that's, you know, that's another thing.

Speaker 1:

Like, the dating landscape is like a fucking shit show. Um, and you're at the mercy of, you know, let's say, apps, for example, where you know it's it's an easy way to get connected to people. But then you have like, um, there was a guy on there the other day. That's one of the prompts says like what you know, like something like what would I be surprised to know about you, or something to that effect. And it was like that I'm married and my wife doesn't know that I'm on here and I'm like you're a disgusting human being, human being Like, how is anybody who approaches dating from a true and genuine place supposed to see that and not feel like immediately hopeless Because that's exactly like how I felt?

Speaker 1:

And then it's like, okay, well, then you know, like don't do apps. Well, okay, so, um, going back to you know the little to zero free time that I have, um, okay, all right. Well, you know, I, enneagram seven love to do new things, like trying to just say yes to new outings, new people, new, you know, networks, et cetera. But it's just, it just kind of always comes back to that like idea of like how do you like do all these things? And I was encouraged because there was this new I don't know like business, if you will, that somebody started here where it's just getting single people in real life, and because people are tired of the apps and they're tired of now the apps, I think are influenced by algorithms. Why wouldn't they be, and so you're not even like getting exposed to the same people unless you pay, and it's just this whole crap.

Speaker 1:

And so I was like, oh, like there's this uh event or thing, you know business, where it's like getting singles together for live events and, um, they capped the first event to, uh, you had to be 40 and I'm 42. I'm like, oh, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. So I'm too old, is basically what you're saying. And why are we doing ageism for a singles event? I mean, I get that you don't want like huge disparities in the age, like huge gaps. That would not be realistic for the average person. I understand that. But why? Why would you immediately like limit it in the beginning, when you could just sort of keep it a little bit more open-ended until you see like you have some events and you see sort of like who comes to them? They're doing it backwards, in my opinion, where they're limiting it and are keeping it to the 25 to 35 year olds. You know the people that probably don't have a hard time meeting people, because that's just where you're at when you're 25. And so people have said, you know, hey, like you should consider changing the age, and they were like well, you know, we're, we're, we're going to think about that, but the majority of our people right now are 25 to 35. So we're going to keep them there and I'm like you know, whatever. So that's what's been going on.

Speaker 1:

It's been hard. I am not going to sugarcoat it. I have been on fumes barely making it so tired, um, and just wondering you know when, when the dam's going to break, um, um. I, a long time ago, talked about this on LinkedIn and it was let me see if I can find it here. Okay, here it is. So I wrote I'm in a Valley and it's no doubt the most expected place as an entrepreneur and business owner. Combine the ups and downs of entrepreneurship with health, scares, death and grief, and it's no wonder why I feel so off.

Speaker 1:

The constant striving, though, for me, has been an identity for the last 20 plus years. I've never had just one job. I was always either getting more education, waitressing, working, retail, freelancing or building a business, all on top of full-time hours. That's a lot to undo. I'm reminded of the quote tough times don't last, tough people do, and as I sit here now, I don't think I agree with the idea.

Speaker 1:

I was talking with a friend and I caught myself saying I'll emerge from this stronger, before I realized I don't actually need to be any stronger. I want to emerge softer and more aligned, because stronger for me means more working. Striving for me means more working. Striving not feeling satisfied, struggling and wearing it all as a weird badge of honor. I don't need to make things even harder as a way to reward myself for the perseverance. Even doing the quote-unquote best I can is a never-ending quest for perfection. I just need to do what feels aligned, soft, gentle. I need to go easy on myself, trust more, be comfortable with uncomfortable, and if people are defined by hard times, then I want to come out of this valley as the leader I most want to follow, because the darkest hour is just before the dawn.

Speaker 1:

I wrote that about a year ago, I guess, um, and it feels still true now. Um and so when I'm in a place like this, I just want to be clear. A place like this, I just want to be clear. I don't do. For the most part, I don't do like I don't have this. You know practice that I do, or you know, I just I don't always remember what my tools are, even though I have the tools. I've done a lot of work over the years.

Speaker 1:

Obviously, I've talked about anxiety quite a bit, um, my struggles with it, um, you know it's, it's not something that's that's ever. It doesn't ever go away. And the point isn't for it to go away, it's just to you know sort of recognize when it's happening away. It's just to you know sort of recognize when it's happening, reach for your tools and sort of maneuver your way through it. And even then, even knowing that I don't always remember to reach for the tools and I want to be really clear about that because I don't want this to come across as like I have it all figured out, I fucking don't. I really don't. I struggle so hard with these things. But in the spirit of I want these episodes to be useful I jotted down a list of things that I try to remind myself during phases like this. Again, it is a work in progress. We are always a work in progress.

Speaker 1:

None of this is meant to be you're perfect with it, but one of the first things I've talked about this before is having the awareness. What this looks like for me would be saying to myself okay, I just read some news today that is really upsetting. And before that just overtakes my whole entire being, I think to myself okay, shauna, you're really tired right now. You haven't been sleeping, you've had a lot of stress with work. This kind of thing is probably going to feel exacerbated for you because of your current overall state. That's what awareness looks like for me Now. Do I then do the things that I know will make me feel better? Not always Do I continue going down the doom scroll. Yep, I sure should do.

Speaker 1:

But I think that when you have even a sliver of the awareness, it gives you that teeny tiny pause to say, okay, this reaction is not actually what I would normally do or what is, you know, really necessarily based in reality. It's a reaction through the lens of what I'm currently under, and so, just paying attention to, okay, what's your awareness of this thing? What is the lens that I'm looking through, this scenario? Is that lens going to cloud it? Is it going to make it feel worse than it really is? Potentially? And again, maybe it is, and maybe you still move forward anyways, that's okay.

Speaker 1:

But that tiny little pause can do wonders, and that's one thing that I try to remind myself. That's one thing that I try to remind myself. Another thing that I try to tell myself is I'm my own worst critic. You are your own worst critic, always 24-7. There is never going to be anyone harder on yourself than you are. And if there is, then those fuckers don't need to be in your life and they can be kicked to the curb because we're all just doing the best that we can.

Speaker 1:

And it's like I I I get so caught up in things like oh God, I haven't, I haven't posted, I haven't promoted the podcast in like three or four weeks, and I feel bad because the guests that came on my show you know they like deserve to be cheered on and and like nobody is sitting around going God that Shauna Stiver didn't promote the podcast today and that just like ruined my whole day. I mean, nobody's doing this. They might be like, oh yeah, like maybe she'll promote that episode sooner or who knows Like, but nobody is judging me, like I'm judging me. Nobody's thinking like my day would have been made had she promoted that podcast episode. I mean, it's just silly when you think about it, but we are our own worst critic and so just remember, like the things that we think people are doing about us or whatever, like it's not happening. It really isn't. It's in our imagination. Everybody is inundated with the things they have going on in their lives, and so it's never about you, it's always just. We just think that you know, there's this like I don't know, like everybody is just sitting around wondering why we didn't do the things. It's not happening. Um, another thing I try to tell myself this one is very, very difficult. Very difficult is not getting attached to a feeling or an emotion and trying to like, coerce or control things. Oh my God, I struggle with this so bad. The truth is and we've had some really amazing experts on that have talked about this Emotions are just going to come and go. They don't even really last as long as we think. We are always afraid of them Not always, but the difficult ones I think that people are, by and large, afraid of, and so if you can just let them happen and just let them be instead of resisting it, you'll feel so much better.

Speaker 1:

I personally am very uncomfortable with being angry, and I don't know why. Um years ago, I worked with a trainer and we would all joke. This is still true to this day, but we would joke that, like my version of quote unquote like anger or like violence, if you will, would be like kicking over your water bottle. It's like so ridiculous and not angry. That's me. I don't like confrontation.

Speaker 1:

I'm a Libra, so I very much, really, really enjoy balance and peace and diplomacy. And I don't like to. Um, I just, I don't like. I don't watch violent shows. Um, you'll never catch me watching anything like UFC gross. No offense to anybody who likes that, I can't handle it.

Speaker 1:

So when I feel angry about something, it's usually so exaggerated and ridiculously over the top. It's comical. I will say things that are so horrendous that I would never in my life actually mean. But it's like I don't get angry enough or I I like, just don't like it. And so when I do feel that it's like this pent up anger that just like has to come out and it's so crazy, it is literally so crazy. And so I try to just like let these emotions happen and just, you know, like, sit with it. It's so uncomfortable. Your tendency is to numb, is to ignore, it is to, you know, go past it. The best thing to do is to just try to like let it be there. And it's so hard, I've not come anywhere close to being good at this particular one, but I try to like remind myself.

Speaker 1:

Um another thing that I try to remind myself of is like not giving my power to someone else is like not giving my power to someone else. So, thinking about the dating situation, you know it's really, it can be really easy to say like there's no good people out there and you know, for guys or girls there's no good guys, or there's no good girls or women or whatever. It's so easy to say that. But if that's true, then you're giving your power to another person to say like I'm not going to try, because I think this is true there are 8 billion people on this planet 8 billion and like we all have examples of, like, wonderful relationships that we admire. So that is fundamentally not true, that there's no good people out there. And if you succumb to that, then the people that are assholes, that don't deserve your time or attention or the light of day are winning.

Speaker 1:

And so it's like, be careful of who you're giving your power to. Are you giving someone else just free reign to control your emotions or decide how you're going to approach something? Just be mindful of that, because you always have the power of how you're going to react to something. Always, that is 1000%, always within your control. And so, just, you know, be aware of it and try not to give your power away to someone else because they just you know again, like they don't deserve it. And you can think how you want about something and you can think through like is this a useful way of thinking about this or not? And again, sometimes you just want to dwell in that place and that's okay, um, as long as you, you know, don't stay there too long. But, um, that's something that you know. I'm like I try to be mindful of that.

Speaker 1:

Another thing that I try to remind myself is that the power of the word, and and that two things can be true at once. So you can be both sad and happy for other people this holiday, that they have fun things to do. You can feel like you want to have that in your life and that you are so thrilled that other people have it, so they are the example that you can look to and say this is what I want and I know that it exists because these people have it themselves. And so, just reminding yourself that you know it isn't either or, and I feel really tired and I still love my business. I feel really sad about how shitty dating apps can be, and I know that my person is out there, so it's not negating anything. It's not, um, trying to tell yourself that the the one thing isn't true. It's just saying, like both of these things can exist at once and they can both be true.

Speaker 1:

And then, finally, I would say, reminding myself that everything resets everything. The sun comes up every single day, the moon comes out at night every single night, like everything that we are feeling or going through resets, and sometimes you know you just need to unplug, plug yourself back in, um, and you know, maybe you'll be feeling a little bit better the next day. If you're not, that's okay too, um, but the those, those periods where you're in a valley, those periods where you're in a valley, they don't last forever. That's why there's peaks. The dark needs the light and the light needs the meaning is of them. Um, if you're able to, you know, think through like why is this happening? Um, that's cool, but oftentimes you don't see it until you're out of it.

Speaker 1:

And that's okay too, as long as you know you approach it from an reflective place and introspective about it, then I think, like you know, you're going to have those times, but I think what you do with them is, you know what can kind of like determine what that time represents, kind of like determine what that time represents. And so, um, yeah, I just wanted to share those, and I also, you know it, it reminds me of like, again, the purpose of this podcast is to remind you that, um, the one thing you have that nobody else has is you. So it's your voice, your mind, your story, your vision, um, and so you're the only you that ever was, that ever will be. Um, that is a treasure to nurture and to, you know, explore. Um, it's you bring something to the table that nobody else can. And so, um, just remember that when we are in these places that are really tough, and we're doubting ourselves and we're, you know, thinking that it's not going to get any better or whatever, that tide will turn, the sun will come up, things always reset, and you still have you, no matter what, and that's, I think, one you know really important thing to keep in mind. I will leave you with, um, a quote. Let's see here, it's not a quote, it's more like a, a post here. Um, this is from Jenna Zoe I think it's either Jenna Zoe or Jenna Zoe, but she's a human design sort of expert and I love how she thinks about things.

Speaker 1:

But she was talking about luck and how you can create it, and I think that this is a really good thing to think about when you're in a tough time or where you're in a valley, like I have been. So she says carry yourself like a person who trusts the universe is working backstage for her all the time. No need to control and micromanage how your life pans out. Move through the world like your dream person warm, inviting, exciting, excited to be alive. The world around you will shape shift to reflect that back as your reality. Take a chance on your random passions that spark your soul. They are what the universe wants you to be doing, and when you do those, rather than what you should do, all the opportunities and synchronicities come flooding in.

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We usually assume the worst in people or the worst in the situation is what will come true Whenever you catch yourself doing it. Take two minutes to make yourself imagine what the best one would look like. Treat every person like they're incredible, and they will give you back more than you could imagine. Make your intentions behind doing anything the purest you can make them. Ie, whenever you're tempted to do things for the cheap hits, hold back, play a part in other people's luck whenever you can. There are so many more, but as a general rule, the outside world is just mirroring how aligned we are inside. So it becomes magical and synchronicitous and joyful when we are the people we came here to be.

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And I think when I get into these tough times, I think one of the things I try to do most is give outward. So I try to be kind, I try to be more, because when we take that pressure off of ourselves and we give it to others, like she says, we're giving what we hope to get back. But it's also just something that makes you feel good about yourself and when you're in a phase like I have been sometimes, you just need those quick little hits to remind yourself that, like things are going to be okay and all you have to do is just take the next step, the next right step. You don't have to know how anything else works out. You just got to keep taking those steps, one after one, and before you know it you're at the top of the mountain and that's what I want to leave you with.

Speaker 1:

So no kindness in action segment this week, we are keeping this real and raw. I've given you all the things um to consider and a little update on what's been going on. Um, of course, I welcome the feedback on what you think of these solo missions. I haven't done one in a while, certainly have not done one like this, so let me know what you think. And, as always, I cherish and am so thankful for every single person who tunes into this show every single week. It is the thing that I do. That means a great deal and I am just really thankful for the outlet, especially for a time like this. It's just it's nice to come on and be myself Not that I'm ever not myself, but it's just nice to be stripped back and letting you inside. Um, so let me know what you think and I will be back next week with another episode.

Speaker 1:

Like I said, got some really good guests coming up that I'm super pumped about. If you have anybody to recommend for the show, um, please feel free to drop us a note, send an email, message us on Instagram. I am always looking for interesting guests to come on the show. Pretty soon we'll hopefully have some insights on our giveaways again and really encouraging people to leave the reviews. So lots of fun stuff coming up for French Kissing Life, but for now I'm going to end here. I'm going to end on a high, yet low note and get some sleep, because it's way too late, as usual, and there's one more day before a little reprieve.

Speaker 1:

So, um, happy 4th of July everybody. Everybody. Yeah, rock your body. Yeah, everybody. Rock your body. Right, backstreet's back. All right, okay, I'm done. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of the French Kissing Life podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did. If you're enjoying the show, shower us with a five-star rating and hit that subscribe button to make sure you never miss a future episode. And if you would be so kind and give the show a review, I'll sweeten the deal for you, since you know I live for good conversation. I want to hear from you, share your favorite takeaways, an aha moment you had or a fun emoji that represents this week's show, along with your Instagram handle or email address, and you'll be entered to win this month's giveaway. The French Kissing Life movement is gaining momentum and your ratings and reviews play a pivotal role in propelling the show to new heights. Until next week.