French Kissing Life

Ep 30: Unrealistic Perfectionism and Beauty Standards with Hillary O'Dell [Part Two]

• Shawnna Stiver • Episode 30

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Can a wedding truly be perfect, or is the idea of perfection an unattainable myth that adds unnecessary pressure? I sit down with Hillary O'Dell for the second part of this episode to dissect the term "bridezilla" and how it feeds into the unrealistic standards and systemic issues like misogyny and sexism that women face, especially during major life events. Hillary shares her perspective on empowering brides to embrace their desires without shame or judgment. Together, we explore the importance of shifting narratives around women's choices and behavior in the wedding industry and beyond!

Topics covered:

  • The concept of "bridezilla" and criticism of this term.
  • Unrealistic perfectionism and pressure on brides.
  • Societal expectations and beauty standards for women.
  • Feminist perspectives on wedding culture and women's choices.
  • The importance of empathy and understanding in the wedding industry.
  • Shifting narratives around women's behavior and desires.


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Connect with Hillary:
Website: http://hilandel.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hil.an.del

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Until next time, muah!

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to French Kissing Life. I'm your host, shauna Stiver, and I am thrilled to help you discover what makes your heart race, your soul dance and your spirit soar. Every week you'll get a fun dose of inspiration, laughter and a sprinkle of magic as we explore stories, insights and conversations that empower you to ignite the spark within, in a world that demands you be anything but yourself. This is your permission slip to be a little more you. Together, let's shed the shoulds, embrace our unique brilliance and welcome more joy. Are you ready to French Kiss Life? Welcome back to another episode of French Kissing Life. I am your giggly host, shauna Stiver. I can't wait for you to hear the rest of my conversation with Hilary O'Dell. We left you on a serious cliffhanger sorry, not sorry about Hilary's perspective on the term bridezilla. You think you know what she might say. I bet she'll surprise you. It's hard to pick just one favorite moment from this conversation, but by far it would have to be our discussion on the unrelenting beauty standards and how unrealistic perfectionism shows up in what should be one of the happiest moments of a woman's life. I talk about how conversations move me in my everyday work, and this one definitely did too. In part two, Hilary drops more gems. That made me really think about the kind of role model I want to show up as we play a game of this or that where Hilary shares what she would choose if she was designing a dress for herself, and then we end with a round of rapid fire questions that reveal what happens in our brains whenever we hear Shania Twain say let's go, girls Hint, it involves flipping tables and picking up cars. Oh my gosh, I love this conversation so much Deep thoughts by Jack Candy, outrageous laughter and so many amazing perspective shifts. This episode literally has it all.

Speaker 1:

Let's jump back into my conversation with Hilary O'Dell. Okay, so I want to talk about your take on the bridezilla term. So I told you when we were sort of thinking about an angle for this show that I loved your take on this, this idea of the unrealistic perfectionism. Again, I'm going to use your words and we can get into this, but you say, just like the pressures put on our body's appearance, the spotlight shines even brighter during major life events. Weddings are believed to be one of the top most stressful life events, and yet society has a lack of empathy and a surplus of criticism for how we navigate this time, terms like bridezilla add to the pressure cooker of unrealistic perfectionism. Amen, like. Can we get rid of this?

Speaker 1:

The labeling the boxes, the molds, like fuck all of that, that Like let's blow the cooker off of it. You know it's like uh, it gets me fired up too, because it's like can we just be right, can we just really be?

Speaker 2:

right. I think that what happens in our society is that something will be, something will be introduced, right, uh, as a means, uh, to control people or to keep things the way that they are, to maintain, uh, our systems and, you know, the patriarchy and capitalism and all of these things it's created to maintain and then, over time, it morphs and develops and evolves into all these other more sneaky, tricky ways of trying to do that. Bridezilla is a perfect example of this, because now that we're at like this point in time with, it now seems like, oh my god, it's, it's really not that big of a deal, hillary, like it's just a joke, like, come on, there are bigger things to be upset about, right, but it's not just this one little nugget. There's so many layers, there's so many like origin stories, you know, and places that this has come from, that, um, so.

Speaker 2:

So I think, a lot of times when people push back on things like this especially me, like I've, you know, been criticized as being, like, overly sensitive or, you know, being too woke or finding problems with all of these things, and it's like no, I'm just trying to show you a real life example where all these systems have filtered down into this thing that we now have normalized, right. It became this like major criticism for women and our behavior and our thoughts and our feelings and our desires to keep us in a box, right. And then if shaming us didn't work, then you turn it into a joke. So then it's used as a form of disparagement humor, which a lot of people think like it's really not that big of a deal, it's just a joke, right. But disparagement humor is used as a sneaky little tactic to promote these larger systems of misogyny and sexism and racism and xenophobia and homophobia and all of these things. So it's like when we kind of learn that and we look back at the trail that it came from, we're like, oh shit, I'm like participating in this larger system. That's like oppressing me and I don't want to do that Like. So maybe I should like examine why I'm using this term or why I'm asking this, which is where.

Speaker 2:

Where this whole thing came from was out of frustration of being asked this over and over and over again. When I told people what I did is like they wanted to know what my experience was like with like difficult brides or bridezillas, and the disappointing thing about it is like nine times out of ten it's a woman asking me this, and that could be because I'm like really not talking to men, I'm not really worried about what they're doing, I don't really care, like they. I'm like I don't even know, did you? I don't know, um, but I like hold us to a higher standard, right? So yeah, it's a way of us uh, comparing, right, we like notice something else that somebody else is doing, and when we criticize that, it's a way of like validating our own experience. Well, at least I'm not doing that Right, or at least I'm not like that, so yeah, so I find it very frustrating.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, the thought even crossed my mind, like I'm going to admit that to you.

Speaker 1:

It crossed my mind and then when I read you know your take on it, I was like you know what I am so glad that I read this because, you know, your words taught me something and I am constantly, you know, like questioning myself on.

Speaker 1:

Like you know, I I said in the very first episode, I'm never, ever going to get it always right, but I'm always going to say when I got it wrong, and that I will choose to educate myself further and make a different choice the next time and continue to like be on the path of, you know, being the best ally that I can, especially to women, but, you know, to the marginalized groups as well. And so I just think that it's interesting that, like that was one of my default questions in my mind and that just shows, you know, like I'm a person who genuinely comes from a true place of kindness and compassion and empathy. And even I like had that as a reflexive question that I may have asked you had I not like read about you know what you were talking about, which makes so much sense.

Speaker 2:

Right and like. I don't fault you for that because it's become so diluted, right it's. It's used as either a way to other to put yourself in a higher position than other people, or it's used as a form of entertainment. And then that is the question of why is the struggle or the downfall of other women entertainment to me? I don't want. That is not entertaining to me, that is infuriating to me. So for me it's like and I also want to say that like I have worked with none of my bridal clients, but in other work that I do that I referenced, I have worked with incredibly entitled people. I have worked with people who do not respect me, my time, my skill, my ability. They're pushers, right, they want more. They want more. They don't want to pay things like that, you know. So it's not like I don't recognize that people act badly in professional relationships like this, but I think in this realm, with this specifically, like there's such a bigger picture. There's never a reason people aren't acting a certain way just out of nowhere. It's always coming from something Right, and so I don't really fault us for erupting or whatever, because it gets very exhausting as women in frustrating situations where we're not allowed to act accordingly.

Speaker 2:

We're not allowed to be frustrated when it's frustrating. We're not allowed to be enraged in enraging situations. We're to be calm, we're to be humble, we're to be accepting and absorbing of things, right, yeah? Yeah, be a nice girl, be a good girl.

Speaker 2:

And it's like I'm not allowed to act appropriately. I have to turn my feelings off of what is my natural way of feeling about this. I have to posture and present that I feel differently about it. That's the pressure cooker and over time it builds up and it builds up and it builds up. And then there's one little thing, like the napkins not coming in the color that you chose, that you lose your fucking mind over, because it's easier to do that than it is to turn to your future mother-in-law and say what are you doing, like you got to stop this insane behavior or whatever. It's much easier to poke and prod at these other areas and release the valve in a safer way, to act badly in these safer areas around these frivolous things, than it is to really be able to like, fully, turn and address what the what the issues are.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, and even if you think about it. So we started when we first started talking about wedding dresses and weddings in general. Um, you and I'm paraphrasing, but you mentioned something about like it's. It's really about like the bride, like the dress, and so it. You have this portrait of like okay, all the eyes are on that, right, like that's the pressure to get that just right. But then when we do stand up and say this is how it's going to be, like, this is how I want it to be, so that I can get this just right, then we're criticized for that Like. There's just like. No, there's no way to win on either spectrum. But it all comes back to like sort of fitting in this, this mold, that is like accepted by society.

Speaker 2:

Right, like I say like, when, when, why is it wrong to want what you want? You know that's ridiculous. You couldn't show up to a car dealership and be like I'm buying this specific car and they give you a different car that's shittier, and you'd be like, okay, like no, right, right, that's what we're expected to do. So, yeah, yeah, I celebrate that women have preferences and have decisions and change. Celebrate them changing their minds and and have decisions and celebrate them changing their minds and wanting things that are right for them. I would never shame any of my brides or put them in a position where they felt like they couldn't speak openly and honestly with me, because it would break my heart to know that they were having to do that with me, having to perform or be fake or be unhappy, when my goal is to make them happy and give them what they deserve.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, from your perspective, how do we continue to shift this narrative? I know that's a really big question, but, like, do you have any thoughts on, you know, things that we can continue to do, to like, keep bringing this to the forefront?

Speaker 2:

I think for me and my personal like journey is that when I like learn something in the past and I've I've heard a lot of people say this and it it feels shameful to say this, but it's true when I have become, like you know, woken up to something, I've become aware of something, I automatically feel so much shame that I've been participating in this like larger oppressive system or that I didn't know that before. Like, how could I be so like naive or ignorant or whatever. And then I look at other places where people are doing that and I feel like I need to like shame them or berate them. It's like I didn't know a fork was called a fork until I learned it. But the second I learned a fork was called a fork, I started walking You're an idiot, you don't know. This is a fork. Like I just learned that 10 seconds ago.

Speaker 2:

I think we do that a lot, right, it's like you are like oh, you know what I was going to ask her. Like horror stories, you know. And now you're like, when other people do that, you'd be like well, you shouldn't do that, you know. Like we get, we get. We bring our own anxiety into the, into the fray, and what I've learned and what I'm trying and I'm still a work in progress in is, instead of being hypervigilant to find out and point out those things that I was naive to in the past, I think the best thing that we can do is just live as examples of those things that are important to us. Like when I'm creating my business and I'm putting into my business and putting out the things that are important to us. Like when I'm creating my business and I'm putting into my business and putting out the things that are important to me, I'm not using it as an exception to that. I'm using it to amplify that.

Speaker 2:

So for me, it's like I don't participate in gossiping about other women. I don't do it with my friends. I don't do it on the internet. If there's something that some celebrity does that bothers me, I don't give a fuck about talking about that. I want to uplift the things that I like and that I care about, so that people can say like oh, hillary is a feminist and she acts like this. Like for people that are, like, afraid to have that label or you know, hillary identifies this way and she's that kind of person. So you become an example for people to reference when it comes to things like that, versus being, um, someone that they have to walk on eggshells around because they're so afraid that they're going to do something wrong or say something wrong. You know?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's so true. I'm the same way. It's like, you know, the I think about my energy and I think about my peace before I, you know, engage in certain things and I and I think, like is this worth it? Like sometimes there are, sometimes it is worth it to have a discussion with somebody that's you know, a difficult thing to talk about, and then somebody that's you know a difficult thing to talk about. And then other times, if you know the person coming to the table is not at all willing to have a productive conversation, then it's like I'm going to protect my own peace and my own energy and recognize that, like you're not in a, in a space where we can do that.

Speaker 1:

Maybe we will in the future, but it's just like, what kind of energy do you like want to bring and also just be in yourself? And I know that I can say that from a privileged place. But it's like I want to put out kindness and generosity and compassion and empathy, because we are desperate for some of those things. And so it's like I just I don't participate, like I don't subscribe to drama, I just don't at all, and I feel like I'm good with that. You know I don't need to be engaging in any of that Like that does not move myself or my values forward.

Speaker 2:

Right, and it's a work in progress, I mean for me.

Speaker 2:

I can get caught up in shit on Instagram. I can get caught up in hearing people say ignorant shit and wanting to jump down their throat. I definitely have participated in call-out culture and things like that. But what I have come to find is that my mom has always said like you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Speaker 2:

People do things for people that they like, and I think that that feels a little different than like be a good girl, be a nice girl, be a likable girl.

Speaker 2:

It's more like, um, nobody's going to change. If your goal is to help change somebody's mind, right, that's like somebody who's important to you and their, their beliefs are harmful right. If your goal is to change their mind, like hammering down on them or shaming them is that's never been a way to actually create change, and so living what you believe is the most important thing. I think calling shit out is important, but if having a frustrating conversation with your ignorant uncle isn't really moving the movement forward, it's just depleting your energy. That hour or whatever, of conversation and then the three hours of decompression and then the 10 hours you talk to your therapist about it, like could be culminated to you, like raising money for that cause and actually making a difference for the shit that you care about. Just blasting like ignorant people isn't moving things forward. You're doing it you. You're not doing it for the cause or the thing that you care about.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. Oh my gosh, I could talk about this all day, but we're going to do a quick game of this or that wedding dress, okay, and then we'll get your rapid fire questions before I let you go. So, this or that, so these would be your personal preference. We know that everybody is different in their design, but this would be your personal preference and it's all around the wedding dress, okay.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I just want to say I know everybody has to preface shit. You did that so beautifully. I believe that anything anybody wants is amazing, right, I don't think anything is flattering. I hate that term, I'm just going to go off. If I was designing something from scratch right now, just that kind of thing, okay, I just feel like the preference to say that, like I don't want people to be like oh well, hillary doesn't like this, okay, so anyway.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let's do it okay. Long sleeves or short sleeves long if it's a sleeve.

Speaker 2:

I like a long sleeve.

Speaker 1:

Okay, white dress or colorful.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to say colorful. Okay, the reason being is because, having done this for so long, every single client that I have a consultation with wants color, which is very fun and exciting for me. But the part of me, part of me that feels like I want to do the different thing, is like oh, now, white's the different thing, but it's not for everybody, right. So like yeah, yeah, so for me, I would say, in general, color, even though I did just design a dress for a photo shoot and I was like it has to be white, but so long sleeves and color.

Speaker 1:

Here we go, okay, conservative or sexy in color, here we go.

Speaker 2:

Okay, conservative or sexy, sexy, I don't even like that other word, sexy.

Speaker 1:

Ball gown or form fitting.

Speaker 2:

I would uh, that's tough. I would say a form fitted dress underneath a large ball skirt that's like open in the front good, good call.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I like that bling or understated. Understated veil or no veil, veil buttons or backless, backless all the way. Uh, you know we're not gonna do that.

Speaker 2:

One ruffles or bows, oh oh, I love them both so much, I guess I would say ruffles.

Speaker 1:

Okay, one dress or multiple?

Speaker 2:

Okay, this is. I hate breaking rules of the game, but I wouldn't say multiple dresses, because you are not Beyonce, this is not a Renaissance tour tour. I would say what I push a lot of my brides into are separates. So we'll do like a bodysuit and a skirt that looks like a dress for the ceremony, and then they'll like take off the skirt and put on like pants so it looks like a jumpsuit for the reception. So I do like changing, but I don't think that it necessarily needs to be like an entire outfit change. I think you can kind of modify, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Um lace or silk.

Speaker 2:

I would say, or any silk. That was a very half-hearted silk. Well, now I'm also trying to imagine all these elements together, so I'm like okay.

Speaker 1:

Your head's going to explode. Long dress or short Long Last one, this is a good one.

Speaker 2:

Dress or suit, okay, I don't design suits. That's the one thing I don't do, because it is really built in menswear. But I'll do a jumpsuit. So, yeah, okay, jumpsuit, okay, yes.

Speaker 1:

I like it, I like it. I like those choices. I'm a form-fitting kind of girl myself probably not bling. Yeah, I don't know what else I'd have to. Yeah, like there's too many options. It's hard to choose for that, but I think for me I gravitate towards like something form-fitting, definitely sexy, Just like yeah, not too much going on, but just like really, really like unique and beautiful.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I agree too, but it's like then sometimes you'll put that other thing on Like so many people think, oh, I don't want to look like a princess people say this all the time with like a big skirt, but then they put it on.

Speaker 1:

They're like, they're like sashay and you know what I with a train.

Speaker 2:

It's like all of a sudden, you're like I am an empress, so yeah, it will surprise you some things yes, that's so true.

Speaker 1:

That's so true. Okay, that's so true. Okay. So rapid fire questions. If you were a drink, what would you be and why? Alcohol or otherwise?

Speaker 2:

If I were a drink, I would be. This is coming straight off the dome. I would be. Take some mango, blend it crushed ice, some sort of herb like thyme or something, basil and a little effervescent maybe a little Prosecco on top or not the herb and a little spice, like a little jalapeno mango crushed ice.

Speaker 1:

Sounds delicious. And then, if you want to spice it up even more and throw some tequila or some vodka, or something in it.

Speaker 2:

There you go.

Speaker 1:

It's like a interchangeable drink it could be one or the other.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

I love it. Okay, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Speaker 2:

When I was a little little girl, I wanted to be an actress.

Speaker 1:

When I was a little little girl, I wanted to be an actress. I love that, and you're still like getting to do dress up, which is amazing.

Speaker 2:

And shortly after, I wanted to be a fashion designer.

Speaker 1:

When becoming an actress, I came to believe that was an impossible thing. Like you couldn't, no one can do it. So I was like, okay, I'll be a fashion designer. I feel like I had a moment like that when, cause I wanted to be an author and I wrote to my favorite authors and then, like, the perception about like book writing is that it's, you know, next to impossible. And so I was like, well, I could do magazines instead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, um, yeah, yeah, um. Is there a particularly memorable moment that like you, when you were working with a bride that like sticks out for you or the? Is that too difficult to choose just one?

Speaker 2:

I would say it's difficult to choose just one. I would say that, um, there's this switch that flips in my head when I'm working, where I become very technical and detail oriented and I don't even really know what like on a like macro level, what I'm looking at, cause I'm very focused in and hyper-focused, and I think that when the switch flips for me and I realized that I'm looking at this incredible woman in this incredible thing that we created, it's like all of a sudden I become like human again and it's like this beautiful moment and it feels emotional. Yeah, but it's like that's like that kind of happens with every single client, cause I've had clients where I'm like working on it, and they're like, well, do you think it looks nice? And I'm like, oh, yeah, of course, and I'm just like you know, focusing on this one thing, and I'm like, oh, yeah, no, yeah, you're here. What's going on?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, people always ask me like what my favorite thing to write is and I always say it's actually not the like finished thing, it's the process of like interviewing people and they'll say something like I interviewed somebody yesterday. I have some clients in the organ donation space which is, as you would imagine, extremely touching, and I had this woman that was talking to her yesterday and she got emotional several times and I just was like I first of all like the honor to get this story right for you. I don't take that lightly. But also, if I hear something that I know is going to move somebody else again, it's that moment where you're like you take yourself outside of it and you're like holy cow like these words are going to just really inspire somebody.

Speaker 1:

That's my absolute favorite part.

Speaker 2:

That like hit, what that thing is, like a flip, that you can feel it yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, um, what is the song that, when it comes on, you immediately want to get up and dance, preferably on a table.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to say my Neck, my Back, oh yes.

Speaker 2:

Good one. All you ladies pop that thing like this Shake it, booty, don't stop, don't quit. Those aren't the real words, but you know them. Also, also, when Shania Twain says let's go, girls, so true, I am ready to like commit violence. I am like. I am like I had a friend say when she hears those words, she's ready to kick a door down, I'm like I know, or like Beyonce's version of like okay, ladies, now let's get in formation. I'm like let's do it, let's get in formation, so yeah.

Speaker 1:

It's either just like women.

Speaker 2:

I I listen to almost exclusively women artists or non-binary artists. Um, and yeah, when women like when it's super powerful or super hyper sexualized and like, yeah, just that feels really powerful to me. Like cardi b, just like claiming this shit, I'm like, yes, wow, I love it I know, I know.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, you feel like you can like pick up a car all of a sudden.

Speaker 2:

That's where that mom's strength came from. It wasn't because her child was under the car. Have you heard this story about where that mom's strength came from? It wasn't because her child was under the car. Have you heard this story about like the mom's strength and she lifted a car because her child was on? It wasn't that. It's because she heard in the distance Shania say let's go.

Speaker 1:

She was like yeah, oh, my God, I'm dying. Oh, I love it so much. Um, who was your celebrity crush growing up?

Speaker 2:

Uh, I would say my first celebrity crush was JTT, jonathan Taylor Thomas. Oh, of course I have posters of him in my bedroom.

Speaker 1:

Same, Same Um he. I've seen pictures of him lately and it's not the same. Let's just say that.

Speaker 2:

Well, I would say he was a child and I would say I am no longer attracted to him as he was when he was a child. So I'm not trying to hold onto that yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh gosh Okay. French kiss or French fry, french fry. Yeah, yeah, oh gosh okay. French kiss or french fry, french fry. Uh, the french fries have taken over again there for a little while we had a few people that were moving the needle on the french kiss, but the french fries have like dominated again lately. Yeah, um, if you could instantly master any skill, what would it be?

Speaker 2:

um, I'm gonna'm going to give you the answer. That's the same answer I do when you, when people say, like what's your? What superpower would you like? I would, I would love to be able to speak and understand every language.

Speaker 1:

Ooh, that's such a good one. Somebody else said that, um, when I asked him that question, that is a very good one. Else said that, um, when I asked him that question, that is a very good one. Yes, yes, um, okay. So what's something in this moment that would make you feel free? What would you do if, you like, wanted the feeling of freedom?

Speaker 2:

that I have control over, or that, um, because I was gonna say win the lottery I would, but something that would make me feel free, cause that's hard, because then it either becomes like here comes a secret, or I would love. What makes me feel the most free is when I don't feel chained to my to-do list. So I would like to say the answer is to get everything on my to-do list checked off. But that's not really it. That's just me like continuing a cycle. So it's like I would like to. If I could control and maybe I will control that feeling of what am I forgetting? What do I else do I need to do? What am I missing? What do I need to add to my list? That like that to do list thing that was would be really freeing for me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh, my God, I feel that one so much, um, okay. So the last question. I ask everybody who comes on the show what does French kissing life mean to you? So the last question.

Speaker 2:

I ask everybody who comes on the show what does French kissing life mean to you? Okay, well, I think what I'm going to say is two things what it means to me and what I think it means to you. To me, when I hear it, I am like no, I moving to New York has made me very germy, germy, nervous.

Speaker 1:

So the thought of French kissing life.

Speaker 2:

It's like I imagine someone just like licking the pole in the subway.

Speaker 1:

I don't know why.

Speaker 2:

that's where my brain goes to, but I'm like that's what I'm imagining and I don't like it, but it's not what you're going to do. So that's like um I, but what I? When I think of your definition of it and bring it into my own thing, to me the act of French kissing is, like, very intimate. It opens you up to vulnerability if I'm thinking of the germiness, and also emotional, physical vulnerability, right, and you are expressing like passion or love, right, expressing like passion or love, right. So that is kind of what I think it means in the, in this context of like, yes, opening up yourself to be vulnerable in life, expressing passion towards your life and um, love towards your life, and being a little like free and wild, I guess, because it's like, when you think of it, you're like putting your mouth in someone else's mouth. It's really weird.

Speaker 1:

And don't do that on a pole in New York City, anywhere, I mean not in front of me, not in front of you.

Speaker 2:

The gag reflex will, but that's what I meant. When you're fringy, I'm just like seeing someone walk down the street, just like Like a toddler.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, they put everything in their mouth. Yes, not that, not any of that, no, um love, passion and vulnerability towards life. That's what I think there you go, there you go, okay. So if anybody wants to connect with you, see what you have going on, work with you, et cetera, where can they find you? Yep?

Speaker 2:

So you can check on my website. Yep, so you can check out my website, hillandellcom. I'm also on instagram with kind of unique spelling. It's hilandel. I'm sure it'll be in the show notes, um, and just reach out. I offer a free consultation so we can just chat, see where you're at if it's something you want to do or you're interested in, um, or just be my friend and DM me on Instagram and we can chitty chat about all things.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and next time I'm in New York, we can hang out. I would love that. I love New York. It's my favorite. I really, really love the city. I love the energy there Me, too, really love the city. I love the energy there Me too. Well, thank you so much. This is literally one of my favorite conversations, easily, because we just like we touched on something that I think is so important and, like I just um, I love that you are so passionate about it and I appreciate your vulnerability and talking about all that and and bringing that passion to our conversation today. So, thank you so much.

Speaker 2:

Oh, thank you for giving me the space. I'm so glad we connected and I can't wait to be your friend in real life, yay.

Speaker 1:

Yay, okay, we'll see you guys next time. I mean, there were, honest to God, so many things that resonated with me during my conversation with Hillary, but I was absolutely gobsmacked when she said why is the downfall or struggle of other women seen as entertaining? Talk about a truth bomb, which is why I wanted to focus this week's kindness in action segment, where you can take what you've heard in the episode and apply it to your lives, whether you have five minutes to spare or 50. We're talking harmful stereotypes and how we can keep moving past them. So, if you have five minutes to spare, I have a article from the greater good magazine called how to beat stereotypes by seeing people as individuals. And then, if you have 50 minutes, I have another article from BetterHelp called 22 Ways to Overcome Gender Stereotypes. And then, of course, if you want to connect with Hillary, I will leave her information in the show notes. If you are in the market for a wedding dress, she can design one for you, so contact her if you'd like a free 30-minute consultation. And then she's constantly doing funny stories on her social media, so I highly recommend following her. All right, that's all I got for you.

Speaker 1:

Two part episode on unrelenting beauty standards and unrealistic perfectionism. I will be back next week with another fun and lively episode of French kissing life that's sure to be full of surprises. See you then. Life that's sure to be full of surprises. See you, then. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of the French kissing life podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did. If you're enjoying the show, shower us with a five-star rating and hit that subscribe button to make sure you never miss a future episode. And if you would be so kind and give the show a review, I'll sweeten the deal for you, since you know I live for good conversation. I want to hear from you. Share your favorite takeaways, an aha moment you had or a fun emoji that represents this week's show, along with your instagram handle or email address, and you'll be entered to win this month's giveaway. The french kissing life movement is gaining momentum, and your ratings and reviews play a pivotal role in propelling the show to new heights until next week.